


Who Would I Be To Forgive (And Embrace)

by TheKissApple



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 1x15, Angst, Episode Related, HIV/AIDS, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3452951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKissApple/pseuds/TheKissApple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 1x15: The night Lila died. Connor stays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Would I Be To Forgive (And Embrace)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lovelymates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelymates/gifts).



> Title taken from the song All For Nothing by Kensington.
> 
> Dedicated to my beautiful, strong friend. I love you.
> 
> Find me on tumblr: thekissapple.tumblr.com

Connor closes his eyes and buries his head in his hands. Oliver sobs and doesn’t look at him anymore, because he _can’t_. He’s ruined them forever. This is his own mistake. Right at the moment things were going to be okay, he tore them apart again. He is sure that Connor won’t be coming back this time. That this beautiful man will never smile at him from the porch when he opens the door.

But then the bed dips and a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around him. Connor places a kiss on his head and Oliver gives in, because this might be the last time he can have this. He buries his face in Connor’s neck and cries. He tries to remember everything. How Connor feels, how he breathes, how his heartbeat sounds and how he smells. He wants to remember it all, so he can dream about it on lonely nights.

Connor takes a deep breath, as if what he’s about to say is hard for him and Oliver grabs his coat tighter. His coat that he didn’t bother to take off, because he will probably leave soon anyway. Oliver doesn’t want to hear him say that he can’t do this, because he simply won’t survive that on top of this too.

'I love you too.' Connor says all of a sudden, taking Oliver's breath away. His heart skips a beat and he slowly lifts his head to look at Connor carefully. They never talked about it so Oliver assumed he had not heard or it had come too soon. But Connor looks certain and he places his forehead against Oliver's and sighs like he is defeated.

'I need you Oliver. I need you now and I might need you even more in the future. I've done terrible things and I shouldn't be forgiven for that. But you _do_ forgive me and I realised that that is all I need. Because if we’re not okay, then I’m not okay.’

Oliver is crying again and Connor gently cups his head and kisses him. He wipes away his tears.

'You don't have to stay.' Oliver cracks, but Connor shakes his head.

'I want to stay.'

He takes his coat off and throws it next to the bed and it looks symbolic. He wraps his arms around Oliver again.

'I'll be there next time.' He says, stroking Oliver's hair. 'Don't plan appointments during class anymore.' Oliver nods and receives a kiss on the top of his head again.

'We're okay Oliver. And we're going to make sure that you're okay as well. Then I'll be okay too. But we are okay, understood?'

'Yes.’ Oliver whispers and Connor nods.

‘Now you’re going to take a shower and I will make you a hot cup of tea. And I’m not going to leave, but if you fear that then I will take a shower with you.'

'Yes please.’ Oliver nods and he looks at Connor with pleading eyes. Connor smiles a little.

‘Of course.’

He takes them both to the bathroom and the scene is so terribly familiar that Oliver knows where they will end up. And that gives him hope.


End file.
